Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
