He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
