We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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