Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
