out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
