I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
