I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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