next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
