so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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