My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
