Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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