i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
