i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
