In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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