i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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