I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
