When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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