i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
