no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
