He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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