Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
