Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
