I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
