This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
