she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
