i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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