Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
