the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think i have two assholes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
