and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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