Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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