Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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