I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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