I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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