I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
