She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
