She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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