Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
