Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
