Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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