i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
