Rock
Scissors
Fuck
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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