butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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