I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
