oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
