I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
