K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
