I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
