D3 body, D1 cock
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
