Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well you can't waste a boner
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
