nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
